Nisht geshtoygn un nisht gefloygn

Ah, denial. Where would we be without it? Jeff Goldblum famously said in The Big Chill that a rationalization (a form of denial in our books, in most cases) is more important than sex. “Ever gone a week without a rationalization?” Ya know, Cleopatra wasn’t the only queen of Da Nile.

Today’s header comes from the Yiddish phrase which means “utter nonsense”. Michael Wex tells us, though, that its literal translation means, “It didn’t climb out and it didn’t fly up.” (Here he is on Fresh Air, so you can hear him.) Us? We love Yiddish, a language based on denial, on rebellion, on fighting back. Here are some handy Yiddish phrases, my little boychicks.

But back to denial. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad recently denied that the Holocaust–you know, that little PR problem Germany has with the extermination of Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals, intellectuals and non-“Aryans”– ever happened. What chutzpah. Oh, if only he spoke Yiddish so he could hit us with a good Nisht geshtoygn! Oh, if only it didn’t happen! Of course, then “that shitty little country Israel” (to quote the French ambassador to London) wouldn’t exist. And we love that shitty little country.

In fact, we love it so much that we built a special compass to find it. Behold, the “Incredible Jerusalem Compass“. Anywhere you are in the world, if you get a little ferblunjit, open this badboy up and find your way home. Now your bubbe will kvell with noches.